Deciding to enroll in the Martha Beck Wayfinder Life Coach Training was a decision that definitely came from my soul. I awoke in the wee hours of the morning after reading her book, “Finding Your Way in a Wild New World“, and was googling more about her when I discovered her training. I started in October 2019 and the past few months have been quite the experience, to say the least!
All of the tools we have learned so far have required us to try them out first. Which means healing the self while learning to teach others to heal their selves!
Here are the 5 Ways Changing My Thinking Changed My Life:
1. Your Body Knows Your Truth
How often do we get “a feeling” about a person or a situation, only to ignore it, then later exclaim, “I shoulda listened to my body!”? Our minds are making up stories about what we experience and see with our eyes all day long. The real source of truth lies within our bodies. Our bodies never lie. The most effective way I have found to tap into the truth of my body is meditation. Stopping the thoughts and tuning into the sensations of our bodies when making a decision can be the difference between choosing your own path or following the herd.
By simply giving breath and space to your thoughts, the body has a chance to be heard. Listen to the clues your body gives: tightness in the chest, tingling in the body… how does it feel? It is amazing how the body will turn up its signals once you start paying attention.
2. Suffering Comes From Our Thinking
I recently moved and my new HOA is pretty strict. I discovered this neat USPS service that scans your mail so you can see what’s on the way. I get an email each day of the mail that’s coming my way. In one particular email, I I could see the words “Second Notice” on the scanned image of the piece of mail from the HOA. I spent the entire morning in “thought agony”, afraid I was being sent another notice about the weeds in my yard. I was frustrated! I had been doing my best to get my lawn up to standards and how dare they send me another violation notice so quickly! I was exerting a lot of energy trying NOT to think about the letter coming in the mail.
The next day, I decided I was in a good enough mind frame to open the letter. Yes, I avoided it for an entire day! I went to the mailbox, pulled out the mail and immediately ripped open the envelope. And then, I laughed.
It wasn’t even a violation letter.
It was a notice of our annual homeowner’s meeting. And here, for almost 24 hours, I let my thoughts about the letter dictate my emotions, my actions, and my feelings. I was “suffering” because of my thoughts. And those thoughts turned out to be not the truth! So it is with most of our thoughts. They are “stories we make up about a situation”. Once I recognized this, I learned how to be more aware of how my thinking was controlling me.
3. It’s OK to Fall Apart Sometimes.
I spent so much time resisting my own transformation. When a caterpillar is ready to transform into a butterfly, it completely falls apart. It wraps itself in a cocoon to allow this necessary stage.
THIS PROCESS CANNOT BE RUSHED, NO MATTER HOW IMPATIENT WE ARE!
I know that I have tried to “keep it together” no matter what was happening in my life. Holding in emotions, saying yes when I mean to say no, all attempts at gluing my fragile pieces back together. I found that surrendering, resting, cocooning, and crying all let me fall apart and then it was much easier to transform into something way more beautiful!
4. Rest When Needed.
This was a hard pill for me to swallow! I know I was perpetually caught up in trying to keep up with others. I didn’t want to give myself permission to just DO NOTHING. When I decided to shift my thinking about DOING vs RESTING and I let myself really really rest, I opened myself to more energy and creativity. Ideas started to come out of nowhere and I made more progress giving myself a break.
5. Taking Off My Social Mask Was Freedom.
YES GIRL
People Pleaser
I was both of those things. Neither of them were keys to my peace. I was wearing a mask when I said “Yes” but meant no. I was wanting people to like me, so I went into people-pleasing mode. And each time, I would recognize something just wasn’t feeling right for me. The people I once said YES to started to get more NO out of me and man were they surprised. I was teaching them how to treat me. Yes, I have changed and shifted and even eliminated 20+ year friendships because the mask I was wearing was not WHO I REALLY AM.
It was a tough process yet I stand here today and I would make the choice to stand for myself every time instead of standing for YES.
5 Ways Changing Your Thinking Can Change Your Life!
- Listen to Your Body
- Recognize Painful Thoughts
- Fall Apart When Needed
- Rest is important
- Be Your Authentic Self
These small but significant shifts can become the pathway to your ultimate peace and freedom!
